Monday, March 26, 2012

Welcome, Spring

The calendar says that spring has arrived, but usually that doesn’t mean a thing in Maine. Although temps last week were in the 70’s and 80’s, tonight will see single digits. But whatever Mother Nature gives us, I’m using this change of seasons to start the year anew.

Exactly 2 months after my dad’s death my mother fell and broke her hip, and on a day’s notice I flew to Dallas to help her. It was a horrible week, made more so by her post-surgical delirium. For several days she didn’t know her name, where she was, what had happened, how many children she had, etc. I was on night duty and just when I began to lose hope the fog began to lift and my mother was herself again. I have often heard that a broken hip is a serious thing for a senior citizen and now I understand why. The tortuous road thru surgery and rehab is coupled with the indignity of having to ask for help with just about everything. Seeing my beloved mother so helpless was almost more than I could bear.

These weeks away from home have left me disorganized, behind at work and out-of-sorts. The debris from our winter boots is scattered throughout the house, piles of laundry sit patiently waiting their turn, the cucumbers in the fridge have grown interesting molds. On my desk sits an unfinished seminary paper, the Fauré Requiem performance is looming, and just this morning did I choose music for Easter. Exercise has been almost non-existent and my attempts to eat properly are a constant struggle.

When I have a chance to reflect on the past few months I realize that my life is at a turning point…not only with my parents, but with Emily as well. Simply put it is called change and it’s something I’ve never been particularly good at. Friends tell me to go easy on myself and I suppose that’s good advice…but at some point I need to pick up all the loose threads.

So this change from winter to spring has given me hope-perhaps it is arbitrary, but I’ll take it. To celebrate the new season Bill and I went for a beautiful walk last weekend along Ocean Drive in Acadia National Park. I breathed deeply of the fresh air and let the sun shine on my face. The increasing daylight and occasional warmth has already blessed me with a new energy and will to tackle all the above and I am celebrating a personal Easter a couple of weeks early.