Boundary Days

I feel neither here nor there… as if I’m crossing from one life to another.

This is my last week at St. Saviour’s and it’s a hard one. So many goodbyes, so many “lasts.”  Last choir rehearsal, last Sunday service, last contemplative prayer group, last time to play the instrument that I know so well, and on and on.

In the midst of these boundary days we took a short trip to Grand Manan, a Canadian island in New Brunswick.  It was a chance to rest, be quiet and gather our wits before the final farewells and packing.  Coming back into Maine, at the border crossing, I just fell apart when the guard said “Welcome home.”

In two short weeks we will be on our way to Maryland and a new life.  We have a new house and I have already begun to choose music for my new job.  I wonder what it will feel like on that side where it’s too late to turn back.

Grandson Zev visited recently, with his parents, and it was a confirmation of our plans to move closer to them.  Thank you, Spirit.

Looking Down on Life

Yesterday I saw my life from the window of an airplane.

For a couple of months now Bill and I have been in the throes of an agonizing decision.…in the fall we are moving to the Eastern Shore of Maryland in order to be closer to Emily and her family.

Last week I was in Tennessee for a church musician’s conference, the one I attend every summer, and my return flight included a transfer at Washington-Reagan airport.  I have flown into and out of this airport so many times that I know exactly where to sit for the best views.  I was in that very seat yesterday, 7F, and watched the usual landmarks pass by - the Capital, National Cathedral, Georgetown University and such.  As we got to the outskirts of the city I returned to reading my book until a few minutes later I looked out the window again and we were crossing the sparkling Chesapeake Bay and its scary bridge. My eyes followed the highway across Kent Island until it turned north towards Centreville, where I will begin work in October. I was seeing my future.

Perhaps I’ve just never noticed, but I don’t remember flying that particular route before. I truly had a bird’s eye view of our new hometown and the surrounding area of farms, fields and woods. It felt like serendipity, seeing where we are moving from that vantage point, and it gave me a tremendous sense of confidence and a feeling that all would be well.

And then…as is customary the plane flew along the coast of Maine, up to Damariscotta before turning inland across the central part of the state.  I have lived here for many years and know the geography well…I recognized Popham Beach, the famous bridge over the Penobscot River at Bucksport and the road I traveled for many an organ lesson.  As we made our way north towards Bangor I could see the paradise of Mount Desert Island in the far distance, a scene of indescribable beauty. My life of the past 22 years passed before me and I both grieved and rejoiced… the passage of time was staring me in the face, yet my heart was filled with joy at the memory of friends, music and natural beauty.

Dear, dear Maine…I will miss you. And Maryland?  I think we will get along very well.

Welcome to the 80's

So said my mother to Bill upon his return home from the hospital.  Thanks to the encouragement of several choir members Bill and I arrived at the Ellsworth hospital emergency room shortly after church on Sunday.  And not a moment too soon-he was one sick man.  Pneumonia, flu and a surprising diagnosis of diabetes.  At age 80 my husband spent his first night ever in a hospital.

Hospitals are humbling.  The straight talk about bodily functions, the dire situations of many patients, the presence of death.  And the tremendous amount of trust that goes into turning one’s beloved over to the hands of others…that, too, is humbling.

This was a good time to live in a small town.  The doctor on duty was Bill’s primary physician, our neighbor, and the father of two of my former students.  The next day doctor was both my friend and piano student as well as the mother of two of my young piano pupils.  Bill received very personal care from doctors who know and like him and even the cell phone number of one of them, to use if necessary.

My husband is home now, adjusting to new medications, routines and diet.  We have received a reminder, duly noted, of the importance of each other, our family and our friends. And of the great gift of health.

New Life

I'm going to be a grandmother...early April!